Attention All Church Planting Wives

I just finished an incredible book that was given out at the Evolve Conference, to all church planter's wives.  (Notice that my title says "Church Planting Wives", not "Church Planter's Wives". There's a reason for that...I'll get to it in a minute...) The book is called My Husband Wants to be a Church Planter...So What Does That Make Me?  It is an EXCELLENT resource for any of you ladies who, like me, are in the beginning stages of this wonderfully wild ride!  If you are even considering the possibility of planting a church, you should read this book!

It is a compilation of essays from several different wives of church planters giving advice on many topics like time management, our role as the planter/pastor's wife, how to deal with criticism, and how to cope with the loneliness that often comes to us when our men are so busy.  There is even an article by Dave Ramsey on managing money, and one by Bob Lepine on keeping ourselves spiritually fit for the journey.

At the end of each chapter, or topical section, are letters "From Someone Who's Been There".  I found these notes to be very personal and encouraging.  It's almost as if they know you and the specific situations that you are encountering.  Each one speaks right to the heart.

Here are a few quotes from these essays and letters:

In broadest terms, each church planter wife should protect her husband.  Protect his heart by being the love of his life...    - Joyce Jackson

First of all, let's get one thing straight.  I am not a church PLANTER'S wife.  I am a church PLANTING wife.  I am not just the wife of a church planter.  I am the wingman.  The journey is mine just as much as it is my husband's... - Amy Colo'n

Boundaries aren't just psycho-babble.  Boundaries are important.  They are vital to you and your husband having a healthy, vibrant ministry that has a lasting impact on the lives of people. - Debbie Millman

Some things in life are inevitable and unavoidable.  Pain, heartache, tough times--these are all going to happen.  The question is, 'What will you learn from these things?'  When faced with life's curveballs and letdowns, you can run from them or grow through them.  I agree with motivational speaker Zig Ziglar who once remarked to my husband, "Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker." - Teresa Merrit

One of the best ways to fight off feelings of isolation and loneliness is to have a true heart friend... When you find a real heart friend, you have truly received a gift from God.  While your husband may be your best friend, you can't expect him to meet all your needs.  There are times when you just  need to have a good heart to heart talk with another woman who loves you and cares about you. - Niki Roberts

The final chapter of the book is called "We Said Yes" and it is written by Kim McManus.  Kim is the wife of Erwin McManus, whom you've heard a lot about here, because I have been reading one of his books.  They planted Mosaic, a church in Los Angeles,  California, where he is now the lead pastor and "cultural architect".  Kim's essay blew me away!  Every single word exudes her passion for Jesus, life, The Church, and her husband, as well as her refreshingly honest heart.  Here is a specific quote (actually, a series of questions) that really grabbed at my soul...

If "he" is your husband and "you" are you and "it" is church planting, here are my questions.

Can he do it alone? No.

Do you wan to do it, really?  No, yes, no, yes.  YES! or NO!

Can you stop him? Yes.  Can you make him miserable? Yes.

Can your marriage thrive? Big yes.

Can you plant this church and love it? Yes.

Can you move away from security and even safety? Yes.

Are you stronger than you think? Yes.

Are you strong enough to burn the bridges back to home? Yes

Are you scared? I was.

Is it wild and unknown? Yes.

Can you live with the discomfort and inconvenience of a whole new life?  Absolutely.

Can you move at the speed of light? Yes.......with naps.

So, if you are a church PLANTING wife, and do not already have a copy of this, I urge you to get it and read it...NOW! ;-) (You can download it, or request a hard copy, here.) There is such wisdom and inspiration here.  Personally, it has helped to ground me and prepare me for my journey.  I'll leave you with one last quote that has had maybe the most impact of all on my heart.  It's the final sentence of the book...

May your days be filled with tropical breezes, the word "yes", romance, imagination, and supportive love.  Be a storm of love all your precious days on earth and do it with all your heart.    - Kim McManus